10 signs you are married to a nerd

For an upcoming post I am working on. And all these things do apply to me!!

1. They think saying "Engage" when you ask if they are ready to go is the best joke ever.

2. They get really excited when they hear someone talking about "The Doctor" then get really disappointed when they realize you are actually talking about a real medical doctor.

3. The word Ferengi has come up in bed...multiple times.

4. They own more gaming systems than kitchen appliances.

5. The release of a new book by their favorite author causes them to hyperventilate. (Only if it is Scifi/fantasy of course)

6. They are convinced their baby just said something in Klingon. (for me I swore Kira said "Kapla")

7. Final Fantasy anything, and I mean anything, is the best gift ever!!!

8. They think baby's heartbeat in the womb sounds like a warp core.

9. They have used the phrase "I want to run a level three diagnostic" to get you in the mood.

10. They swore that the shower head sounded just like the Tardis and spent the rest of the day looking for a blue police box.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

Life is all about change. Change is inevitable. And for the most part, I like change. But change also disrupts your life. Especially when you have small children. This last month has been full of change. We started small. We wanted to move Ari into a big girl bed so we could have the crib for Kira. Well, instead of a simple bed, I found bunk beds for the same price. Long term, I saw this as a good investment. Well. after getting the bunk beds, I realized that after you put a set of bunk beds up and the crib in the girls room, there was no room left for toys. Long story short, Michael and I now have our bedroom in the family room downstairs, our old room is the play room/guest bedroom, and Kira still sleeps in the pac n play but at least in the separate room in the basement.
And now the big change. Pre-school. No, we aren't enrolling. We just don't have the money at this point. No I am going to home school. Unfortunately this means I have to change a lot of our daily habits. Big one is me getting up in the morning. Usually I don't have to roll our of bed till around 8:30 (I know, so spoiled) and I don't go to bed till midnight. Then we poke around all morning and get nothing done. This is not going to fly. I need a schedule. I hate that word by the way. So starting next week I am going to start waking up at 6, going to the gym, getting my quiet time in. Have the girls wake up around 8. Eat breakfast as a family and start school around 9:30 and end around 11:30. Also going to have to start going to bed early myself...:P I think this is going to be harder on me than the girls. Waking up early is not my thing, or getting myself going for that matter.
So any pointers from anyone. Not only in me getting up and getting going but how do I break up a 2 hour school day for Ari. For putting my family on a strict schedule they have never had to follow before. (Michael is so getting up with me. I am not doing it alone!!!) And just to teach Ari that for these 2 hours, they are different and separate?
After typing this I am trying to figure out why I decided to write on two separate things. Does rearranging my house and starting school really have anything to do with each other. Not really. Do beds, cribs and school really fall in the same category. Nope. But I think the thing is, that when you have kids, you have to change and be willing to change. And all your carefully laid out plans really mean nothing. When I bought the bunk bed, I never thought it would result with us sleeping in the basement. And I never thought that Ari finally being able to start school would have to completely change the way we function in our daily lives. I think we will live though, as long as the coffee doesn't run out. :)

How Tony got her groove back

When most people think about people going off and finding themselves they usually think of people going to some spiritual retreat or far off island. I, on the other hand, go back to the town I spent 18 years in and had sworn I was never going back to. Yes, I found myself in Salina. (When I told my sister I had rediscovered who I am, she promptly said in disbelief "In Salina?")Many of you have been reading my post know that I have been working through some issues. Most of them relating to mommyhood and wifedom (I just created words) But this weekend, between way too much beer, good coffee and some good friend advice, I found some valuable truths about myself that I had forgotten.
The fist truth is the biggest. Though I will always be a mother and a wife, those two things do not define who I am. Don't get me wrong, they play a huge part of my life, but they should never define my life. My worth and who I am does not come from either.
The second truth is going to cause a lot of controversy and I really don't care if people agree with me or not. It's that the church has done me and many woman like me, a huge injustice. Painting the picture of the good wife and mother as a humble, quiet woman. Never pushing her husband too far, and to be patient and always forgiving. That I should be self sacrificing and in this way I am serving my husband and serving the lord. This is a bunch of BS by the way. I will get to that in a minute.
The third and final truth I learned is just remembering who I am at all times. The woman that my husband fell in love with was a passionate woman who faced any challenge head on. She breezed by him when he was collecting cover at a local music hang out like she owned the place. Didn't even give him a second look. After a minute of being bored I walked to the back to go find my brother in law (who did partially own it) When my husband finally got the nerve to talk to me, we stayed up all night talking but was still to shy to ask me out. Over the next 3 days, to get my point I liked him, I made him clean dirt off my pants after I sat down, (this required him touching my butt) and purposely made him put his arm around me because I was "cold"
I am not humble or quiet. I brag about what I am good at. When I speak, I am listened too. And if you ignore me, I will get your attention. When I walk into a room, I expect to be looked at and noticed. My word in my home is law and will not be argued with. I am passionate about what I love and I face my fears. I am terrified of heights but have gone repelling off giant towers. I hate needles but have gotten a tattoo. I love thunderstorms and dancing in the rain. I love adventure and the unknown. I am spontaneous, carefree, and disorganized. I lose track of time and will always put talking with friends over everything else. I don't have many friends, but the ones I have I love with all my heart and will fight for them and with them. But most of all, I am passionate about my family. My kids and my husband. I will fight for both. I will not stand by as things and this world try to take that away from me.
So where does this leave me, well for one I am buying my first pair of shorts (ok skort) in the first time in years. The world is going to see my legs and you all just better deal with it. (And you will like it too) I got a whole bunch of books and I am not going to let some 18 year old boy beat me at my own video game :) And, last but not least, I am going to take up guitar.

5 Reasons Why we Love Dad (from the kids)

1. He doesn't know the rules so you can always get away with more when he is around.

2. You get to fly with daddy. And we aren't talking figuratively either. We mean flying through the air, onto the couch, on his feet. Whatever makes mom gasp and hold her chest like she is in pain, we love.

3. Riding on his shoulders so we actually can see in a crowd. His shoulders are the best seat in the house.

4. You always get to stay up past your bedtime. If you get playing hard enough, Dad never pays attention to the clock.

5. Dad and Saturday mornings go hand in hand. Mom would never let us sit and watch cartoons till our brains melted, but Saturday mornings are reserved just for that, in our PJ's, on Daddy's lap.

It's only natural...

I have to give a disclaimer on this post. This post is about sex. If you are uncomfortable with that subject, you really should stop reading.If you don't want to know about my sex life (or lack there of) stop reading. If you still believe that babies are made in a magic fairy land then delivered by some flying, giant bird...stop reading. But if you are able to realize that people have sex, and most likely judging form two offspring I have produced that at some point I have had sex, then you can read on. Even though sex and kids go hand and hand, one is not always conducive to the other. While more sex can mean more kids, rarely does more kids lead to more sex. (If you have experienced otherwise, you need to share your secret to all, or just share what pills you are on.) Before kids, I remember lazy Saturdays that we didn't get out of bed till noon (or later) This would be after a fun filled Friday night. And then even some more fun that evening, (or the shower, or after the shower, or while trying to get dressed...you get the picture)Just you and the hubs. Not fast forward to 2 kids later and Fridays are filled with trying to get the baby down before midnight. And if you accomplish this feat, it ends with you just passing out from pure exhaustion, only to be woken up all during the night by someone who just wants to suck on your boobs (and it's not your husband)Then Saturday is reserved for family fun time. And if, by some miracle, you have any energy Saturday night to try to have sex, someone always wakes up right at the exact wrong moment. Before kids, Michael going back to work on his lunch break with either a different shirt, or his shirt on inside out meant a little afternoon fun and may have won him some knowing winks from co workers. Now, it only means he got spit up on, peed on, or pooped on.
It also can take a lot of fun out of sex. It would not be uncommon to hear this conversation in a house with kids. "Kids down? Yup, ready? Yup, hey remind me to throw a load of clothes in after. *a minute or so goes by while you try to be romantic or get in the mood* Crap is that one of them waking up? I think so, lets just get this over with then you can grab the laundry and I will get the kid." Not exactly a scene from a romance novel, is it?
So why this wonderful glimpse into my love life? Because sex with kids can be fun too. For one, I co sleep with Kira (ok not really but her bassinet is right next to the bed. I mean, it's touching the bed) so this makes getting creative about where sex takes place as we don't have a bedroom (it may help not to think about this too much if you come over to my house) Also, you have to be quiet. Can't wake up the kids. This usually leads to lots of giggling as you are tripping around your house in the dark, naked. (just don't step on a lego, totally kills the mood) You learn to be spontaneous and seize the moment. And it can even get you out of chores. If by some miracle the kids are both asleep on a Saturday afternoon, you can usually convince your husband that there are better things to do than clean the kitchen or laundry (though he can remind you after) :)

Human Connection

I have decided to take a break from FB and twitter. I'm not sure if it will help or make me feel worse but I need...something. I have been finding myself making desperate attempts for human connection through both of those medias but it always falls short. In the last few months I have hit a rock bottom in my life that I don't know how to get out of. All day long I have the girls with me and when Michael gets home he helps and even takes over so I can get away. But I don't know where I want to go. I feel such a disconnection with life and the people around that I am beginning to feel like I am living some dream. The disconnected sleep I get at night on top of the stress of the everyday makes everything roll into one. And the 2 people I usually share my soul with are having their own problems. One just had a baby herself and is feeling much like I feel though in a different way and the other is having family problems too. And of course connecting with Michael lately is impossible. One of us always has one of the girls. The times we used to connect at night are gone. Kira doesn't go to sleep til midnight or later. Michael leaves for work before I am up, lunches with him are quick, if at all and after Michael gets home, I either have somewhere to go or he does. And the rare evenings we get together are pure craziness. So I sit alone all day, with 2 children who drive me nuts. I love them with all my heart. When I question my life with them, I cry at the thought of not having them, but then cry at the thought of them being with me.
So my response to this is to post my thoughts and feelings on FB or Twitter. But, trying to sum up the emotions of my heart in 440 characters or less was very hard :). And the responses I got never filled the emotional void I am feeling. I think I almost became like a crack addict, posting my thoughts and then waiting for the emotional high that each response gave me, then I would be just as let down over how quickly the high left. It left me wanting to post more to get more comments. Sick, I know. But the emotional emptiness I feel is that wide. So I am stepping back, even though at this moment, I am itching to post something, anything. Human connection. And even as I reread this post I see what I am showing of my soul and wonder if I am sharing too much, I can't stop. My life at the moment, I feel this is the only way to get out to the world how I feel. And though I desperately want the comments, to know someone is reading this, I also fear it. That someone, somewhere is knowing how much I hurt, and how much I am falling short, unable to cope with motherhood.

Tips on painting

Ok so I am a smart woman. I can rebuild an engine, play multiple musical instruments, and I gave birth so at this point in my life I am pretty confident I can do anything. So I decided to paint my kitchen cabinets by myself, no prob. I have painted before. Well today I learned a few things. Here they are.


1. the blue painters tape does NOT stick to ANYTHING. Unless of course is curls up and then it sticks to itself so you can't unravel it.

2. No matter how many drop clothes you lay down you will drip paint on the floor. And since it dripped in a spot you didn't think it would you will not notice until you step in it and walk all around the house and get footprints everywhere.

3.Do not, under any circumstances, scratch your nose while holding the paint brush. you will paint your head.

4. Always paint top to bottom or you will end up leaning against something you just painted.

5. Ignore lesson 4 if you are doing the underside of the upper cabinets. You will end up hitting your head on the door you left open to dry.

6. Lock up all animals. They will step in you paint tray and make a mess. If you put up a gate that will only stop the dog. Your ever so graceful cats will jump it, and somehow trip at the top (even though you have used this gate for over a year) and fall into the cabinet you just painted.

7. Again lock up all animals. The cats will think that since you are on the floor that you want to pet them. If you continue to ignore them they will rub up again the cabinet you just painted and start to look like that cat from pepe le pu.

8. Take off the hardware from the cabinets before you start painting. It seems obvious but you forget, then you think "hey if I am careful it will be ok" It will never be ok

9. Never drink while painting. You can always tell where you started drinking and at what point when you had too much.

10. If you ignore lessons 1 thru 8 go ahead and ignore 9 so you don't care at the end.

11. Have your husband do it. That's why you got married. And while he learns lessons 1-9 you can just go ahead to lesson 10.